Be kind every day. When it comes to being kind to yourself, it is always really hard to start! Why? Because you don’t even know you are being unkind!
You will only realise when your relationship is over, your health is in tatters and the last thing you said to your kids was unkind.
I think that there are different areas of kindness: Physical, emotional, spiritual, practical, personal and social. Some we care for more than others.
Let’s start with the one that I neglect most – Social. How often do you interact with your friends? When last did you see them or even call them? Do you have boundaries in place or do you overextend and feel abused? Find the friends you want to spend time with. Those who make you laugh and ‘get’ you. Life is far too short for terrible friends.
Physical self care is also one that I have been ignoring recently. It’s just so hard to exercise when it’s so cold, but try. Pamper your body – a massage, manicure or pedicure. If you can’t afford for someone to do it for you get that friend I referred to above to trade or do it yourself. Embrace your sexual self, explore what feels good. Eat properly, avoid chocolates and fried food. Although I think that a cheat now and then is good for the soul.
Personal self care. Do you know who you are? What’s important to you? Do you have a hobby or when last did you try something new? Do you ever spend time alone and when you do how does it feel? Do you get anxiety or is it the best time ever? Make a list of your personal goals. Actually write them down otherwise they are nothing more than day dreams. Volunteer – you won;t believe how good it feels to give.
Emotional self care is just as important as physical care, maybe even more so. Do you have coping mechanisms for dealing with being upset. Do you have emotional intelligence? Many of us don’t but it is something we can learn. Take your pills, see a therapist – do whatever it takes. Being emotionally unbalanced is serious stuff.
Spiritual self care. Doesn’t matter which religion you follow or not, figure out what you believe. Nobody else’s opinion matters. Read, meditate or pray. Find a community you identify with. Challenge your spiritual beliefs and needs. People with a sense of belonging have much happier lives than those who don’t.
And then we get to the practical stuff. How do your finances look? Do you save? Spend more than you earn? When last did you tidy your wardrobe or clean your bathroom cabinet? One of the most powerful exercise to do is to declutter. Throw out what you no longer use or wear. Better still give it to charity and if you don’t know how let us know and we can help out. Donate now
I know that if you follow all this advise ever day you would never get anything done so pick one thing to do every day. It only takes 3 weeks to create a new habit but if you had to do just one thing – BE KIND, phone your mother, tell someone you love them.